Face-sitting: a guide to the sexy, fun and empowering practice of getting off whilst sitting on a partner’s mouth.

What is face sitting? Also called ‘Queening’ or ‘Kinging’, face sitting - as the name suggests - is the practice of one person straddling someone's face for pleasure. Traditionally, face sitting was an oral sex move – but can also involve stimulating a range of sensitive areas externally and internally.

So here’s the how-to-queen/king like a pro.

With a lot of stimulation, it’s important to create a context for safety. A lot of people get nervous they’re going to suffocate their partner whilst grinding on top of them. You don’t have to lean your full weight on their face – in fact, it’s best to start by hovering slightly and control how much weight you put on them by engaging your leg muscles.

As always, you should check in with your partner and maintain an open line of communication (verbal + non-verbal cues) in case there’s too much pressure or weight on their face.

Plus, have trust that they’ll tell you. If they’ve said they’re into it and they’ll let you know if/when it’s too much – trust them. It can be easy to forget a lot of people love someone sitting on their face – it can be a huge turn on.

Getting in there. The how-to-position-yourself starter pack:

1. Choose a supportive surface, like a bed or carpeted floor, and have one partner lie on their back with their body straight.

2. The partner who is straddling should place one knee on either side of their partner’s face, leaving room for movement.

3. Lower down gently and slowly until it’s comfortable for everyone. The partner on top should be stable and able to hold their weight between their knees, shins and feet. The partner below should be able to breathe easily and reach external and/or internal pleasure points.

4. Movement! The person on top will have more capacity to move – explore hip rocking or tilting, grinding, moving back and forth or pressing gently down, following what feels good.

• Pro tip! If you position yourself close to the head of the bed, you can hold it with your hands for additional support.

Quick tips.

Add toys. More vibrations/sensation = more fun. A clit-stimulating vibrator is great here, as is a well-lubed dildo for internal stimulation. 

Keep it fresh. A lot of people appreciate a shower before going down (or up) on a partner. However, as we often note, genitals smell/taste like genitals so there’s no need to smell like a daisy to receive great sex.  

Get handsy. Use those free hands to enhance pleasure for the partner on top – grabbing their ass, caressing their thighs to help them rock their hips or using fingers to digitally stimulate other erogenous zones.

Lube, always. Especially if you’re stimulating internally.