Best Sex Ever
Great sex guaranteed. Let’s learn about sexual intimacy – a method of building trust, connection, arousal and desire without even getting naked.
What is sexual intimacy? Sexual intimacy is a kind of intimacy or closeness that relates to eroticism, pleasure & desire. It’s something I talk a lot about in session with couples who are in love (think kisses, cuddles, emotional intimacy, support – all the good stuff) but have stopped having sex. It can feel jarring to go from all those sensitive, connected things to wanting to f*ck someone on date night. Enter: sexual intimacy.
It’s not about being naked. Practising sexual intimacy is great for people who want to put desire back on the map and build arousal within relationship. It’s also useful for those who want to feel close to their partner but aren’t in the space for anything more intense or penetrative. Sexual intimacy can be built through simple acts of erotic awareness such as…
Kissing with tongue. Make out more. At the start of a relationship, couples may spend hours just kissing with tongue, lost in each other's mouths. Many of my clients say they miss this, and sometimes they just want to make out on the couch without the need to have sex after. Swap the standard peck for tongue (check my past posts for a guide to great kissing) and remove the pressure for it to go anywhere else.
Pro tip: Set a timer for a couple of minutes and keep kissing for its duration, only pausing or checking in when it rings.
Dry humping. Where you grind against your partner, with clothes on, to increase sensation and arousal. It can feel really exciting to have a physical barrier between you and avoids the intensity or sensitivity of genitals touching. Experiment with moving your hips with motions like gyrating, grinding or thrusting.
Pro tip: Explore holding non-genital erogenous zones with sensual touch – the hips, back of the neck, chest, face, stomach and inner thighs are all great places to start.
Have a shower together. Sounds simple enough – and that’s because it is. Showering together can be a really intimate act. Not just because you’re saving the planet/water bill (seriously), but because you’re wet and touching and enjoying each other's bodies without the expectation of sex.
Pro tip: Try washing each other's hair or body.
Sexual compliments (outside of the sex zone). That means complimenting your partner – on their body, their mind, what you love about them, how they make you feel – without any intention or expectation of sex. It may sound like:
“The way you talk turns me on.”
“You looked so sexy this morning.”
“I know I should be working, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“You’re perfect to me, I love every inch of your body.”
“You’re so hot.”
“It really turns me on when you do that.”
“I love your (favourite body part).”
A lasting note. Sexual intimacy is the precursor to great sexual experiences and not nearly enough people are engaging with it. This is foreplay in its finest form – and is a non-negotiable when it comes to good sex. Save this post, share it and return back when you need a little refresher.