Let’s talk about scissoring. (Barbie made us do it!)

Scissoring is more than a move for V-on-V sex, it can be hot for all bodies (you don’t just need two vulvas). Expect grinding and genital-to-genital stimulation – with or without penetration.

But first, what is scissoring? Scissoring, used interchangeably with ‘tribbing’, is the act of rubbing, humping or thrusting bodies together. It’s a largely misunderstood position with lots of assumptions.

Some of the more common assumptions I hear:

  1. That all lesbians or people who have V-on-V sex love scissoring (many do – but it’s not for everyone)

  2. That scissoring is only for people who have V-on-V sex, when in reality, all bodies can enjoy rubbing genitals together. As long as legs are split and hips are grinding, you’re probably scissoring.

Assumption aside, here’s a few things you should know about scissoring.

  1. Start slow. Once you’re in a position that feels comfortable for all, begin with gentle movement and gradually increase pressure. Remember – you're not just floating genitals, you have a whole body. Try getting your bodies into a position / shape that allows you to stimulate more erogenous zones like your chest, nipples, stomach and inner thighs. Take your time too, it may take a few moments of grinding to find the best position / spot / rhythm.

  2. Positions. There’s no wrong way to do it. Traditionally, scissoring involves two partners lying side-by-side with legs intertwined (like two pairs of opened scissors meeting in the middle) but it doesn’t have to be so prescriptive. It can be enjoyed with one person on top as in missionary, doggy style and with penetration or toys. You could even try straddling your partner while they lie on their back.

  3. Get your back (and whole bod) into it. Depending on your position – someone may be able to be more active, but a lot of the power for this position will come from the hips – try thrusting, pelvic tilts, scooping your hips in an upward direction or simply rubbing.

  4. Outercourse IS sex. Like dry humping, outercourse can feel just as good as intercourse (and sometimes better). 

Pro tips:

  • Scissoring can create a little friction – use lube then add more.

  • You can do it with clothes on if you want!

  • Use toys! It goes without saying – a vibrator, c-ring or strap-on add sensation and stimulation.

  • Use a pillow or wedge to help you find an angle that’s comfortable and sustainable.

  • Eye contact – can be intense but can be hot

  • Talk – what’s feeling good? What could make it even better? Think subtle changes in pressure, rhythm or pace. Let them know when it feels good for you so they know to keep going.

  • Hands – How do you want to be held / hold them? Cupping their face, holding their bum, or rocking their hips?

  • Safer sex practices are still needed – dental dams, regular STI checks or condoms should all be part of your safe sex arsenal.

  • And remember scissoring in porn can look hot – but it’s often a performance. You can use this as inspo but every body and every time you have sex is different. 

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