It’s okay if you don’t want to send nudes
Sexting has become a part of dating life, moving from text to pics to video. But what do you do if you or your partner don't want to send nudes?
Read the full article on Elle by Rebecca Mitchell here.
Praise be to the Netflix Gods—the grand return of Sex Education is upon us. The show's fourth and final season premiered on September 21, bringing its typical dose of raunchy topics and pleasingly vintage aesthetics.
The season premiere hinges on Otis (Asa Butterfield) and Maeve (Emma Mackey) trying to give their long distance relationship a red, hot go. After Maeve sends Otis an impromptu nude selfie, Otis struggles to return the favour.
As scampering around his home, taking an album's worth of creatively-angled d--k pics, he can't seem to find satisfaction with an end result. And so he sends nothing. Otis' avoidance festers, until he finally confesses to Maeve that he doesn't want to do 'that'. He feels self conscious and doesn't want to send nudes.
And the moral of the story is — that's totally fine! In fact, I'd wager it's pretty normal.
I've always hated sending nudes. I find them, more often than not, artificial and laborious. (And while I'm speaking from the perspective of desire alone, we also can't discount the bevvy of issues women have faced in the realms of the virtual nude-exchange, both in terms of unsolicited d--k pics and revenge porn. So, there's that to contend with, too.)
In this day and age, one can't deny there's plenty of demand for a saucy sext. Visual sexting, in particular, has become part-and-parcel of new millennium dating. And if you love (consensually) sending and receiving nudes—good for you. Seriously, God speed!
But what happens when you come across a partner who doesn't want to do that?
This is where I call in the big guns: counsellor and expert in somatic sexology, Georgia Grace.
Is it okay if you don’t want to send nudes?
Of course!
