5 Reasons We Have Sex

More than just the peak . A fulfilling sex life is about so much more than orgasm. Sure, it feels really good and it’s important for all people in a relationship to have equal access to pleasure. But when there’s a lot of pressure put on this 10 second peak moment of pleasure, we can lose sight of other reasons why we connect. When I ask my clients why they have sex – a few common themes emerge.

Six reasons people have sex (that aren’t all about the orgasm)

  1. It feels good: more than just the peak – sex can be an opportunity to give and receive full body pleasure. 

  2. To connect: with our own body and others. Sex can be a way to feel more fully human and intimately connected. 

  3. Stress release: prolactin – a relaxing, anti-stress hormone – is released during sex, making it a tool to ease stress or anxiety and feel more present, aware and embodied. 

  4. To transcend the mundane: be it through role-play, power dynamics or infinite forms of sexual exploration – sex allows for curiosity and imaginative play.

  5. Pain relief: Sex floods our brains with feel good chemicals called endorphins – which reduce our sensitivity to pain and can even ease menstrual cramps.

  6. Passion, attraction and desire: deep sexual connection to someone or something intensifies the experience of sex.

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