A Guide To Dirty Talk
This week, we’re thinking and practicing dirty talk (DT). A highly-rated but often misunderstood way of building anticipation and arousal, DT can take many forms before, during and after sex. Below you’ll find my tips and tricks, as well as some inspiration sent in by the G Spot fam on Instagram.
Ease in. As with all sexual exploration, you want to build intensity slowly and gradually. That may mean starting with slightly lighter language, with a questioning element or a compliment. Taking it slow means you can also do a sense-check – see where your partner’s at and whether it’s an appropriate time to lean into dirty talk, or keep things a little more gentle or sensual.
There’s a time and a place: Dirty talk isn’t confined to the bedroom or the physical act of sex. Here are some ways to integrate it:
Before sex: DT is a great tool for building arousal, especially when it’s used in the lead-up. Here, you’d lean into language with an element of anticipation – focus on what you’re looking forward to or thinking about – and be guided by what turns you on. This could take the form of text, conversation, handwritten letter if you’ve watched too much of Netflix’s latest Persuasion etc.
During sex: Not just anticipatory, DT during sex can be based on observation (e.g. What looks hot to you in that moment? What feels really good?) or used as a way to communicate needs (e.g. It really turns me on when we go slower. Tease me. Louder. Hold me here. Touch me like this…)
After sex: Could take the form of after-care style questions (How did that feel? What could make it even better?) or positive reflection (That felt so good. I loved being close to you. Want to do it again?).
Stay in the moment, not in your head. Just as we consider sex to be so much more than a physical act, dirty talk is a million things on top of being called a ‘dirty little sl*t’ (see note on sense-check). It’s awesome to know what to say or how to say it – but ultimately, we want you to be guided by the intuition of the moment and your knowledge about the needs of your partner. Let these ideas inspire you but not dictate your DT experience. Have fun with it – knowing that it doesn’t always land, and, as always, be entirely respectful of your partner’s boundaries, desires and comfort.
Not sure where to start? Here are some ideas to get those creative juices flowing...
You turn me on so much / I can’t control myself around you / I love the way your body feels / I want you so bad / Get over here / Right there / Tease me / Bend over / Touch/hold feel/lick my [insert body part here] / I want you to beg for it / Don’t stop / Faster / Slower / Deeper / Harder / Louder / Say my name / You look so sexy / I’m getting so hard/wet / You make me lose my mind / Whisper in my ear / Moan for me / Bite me / Grab my ass / Look at me / Pull my hair / Just wait until we get home / I love it when you grit your teeth / F*ck.